Tend and Befriend instead of Fight or Flight

Deb -- thought you would find this interesting. Dan is here (asleep in the guest room).

UCLA STUDY ON FRIENDSHIP AMONG WOMEN
>
>By Gale Berkowitz
> A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are
> special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They
>soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our
>marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way,
>they may do even more. Scientists now suspect that hanging out
> with our friends can actually counteract the kind of
> stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis.
>
> A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with
>a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain
> friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has
>turned five decades of stress research--most of it on
>men--upside down.
>
> "Until this study was published, scientists generally believed
>that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal
> cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as
>fast as possible," explains Laura Cousino Klein, PhD, now an
> Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State
>University and one of the study's authors. "It's an ancient
> survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across
> the planet by saber-toothed tigers.
> Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral
>repertoire than just "fight or flight." "In fact," says Dr.
> Klein, "it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as
> part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the "fight or
> flight" response and encourages her to tend children and gather
> with other women instead. When she actually engages in this
>tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is
> released, which further counters stress and produces a calming
> effect. This calming response does not occur in men", says Dr.
> Klein," because testosterone--which men produce in high levels
>when they're under stress--seems to reduce the effects of
> oxytocin. Estrogen", she adds, "seems to enhance it."
>
>The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men
> was made in a classic "aha!" moment shared by two women
> scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. "There was
> this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were
> stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded",
> says Dr. Klein." When the men were stressed, they holed up
> somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher
> Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on
>males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew
>instantly that we were onto something."
>
> The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one
> scientist after another from various research specialties. Very
> quickly, Drs.Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including
>women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The
> fact that women respond to stress differently than men has
>significant implications for our health. It may take some time
> for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages
> us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the
> "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may
> explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has
>found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering
> blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol.
>
> "There's no doubt," says Dr. Klein, "that friends are helping us
>live." In one study, for example, researchers found that people
> who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month
> period. In another study, those who had the most friends over a
> 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%.
>
> Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health
> Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends
>women had, the less likely they were to develop physical
> impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be
> leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant,
> the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or
>confidantes was as detrimental to your health as smoking or
>carrying extra weight!
>And that's not all! When the researchers looked at how well the women
> functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the
> face of this biggest stressor of all, those women who had a close friend
> confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new
> physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without
>friends were not always so fortunate.
>
> Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so
> much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add
> years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with
> them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen
>Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of "Best Friends: The Pleasures and
>Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press,
> 1998). "Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the
> first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women,"
> explains Dr. Josselson. "We push them right to the back burner.
>That's really a mistake because women are such a source of
> strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to
> have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of
> talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very
> healing experience."
>
> Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis,B. P., Gruenewald, T. L.,
> Gurung, R.A.R., & Updegraff, J. A. (2000). "Female Responses to
> Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight", Psychological
> Review, 107(3), 41-429.
>

Big D's network in coronado

So yesterday, after locking my keys in the car at dog park , which is how I start my
day, we came back to the shores and were walking into our building when 2 policemen
came out. Some old people had called 911 by mistake.
so I told them they needed to move to Detroit to get some real crime experience and
one of them said to me-"so I can get ice dam on my roof every time. and I said how
did you know that-he then proceeded to tell me about the trans 2 or gem as now
called plus other interesting facts about us. Have never seen him before. Doug
admitted it might have something to do with Starbucks.

Swam in the rain outside this morning with crashing waves as people walked by
wearing gloves and winter coats. I guess they are not from Michigan.

Dave has promised to blog and blog with the kids when he has them for a week
in early Feb. Hopefully , Harrison will review movies. by for now .
DEbmom

John Edward....to the tune of I feel pretty

You've got to watch this til the very end....the tongue action is too much....

And for Dave and Boulder Joe who think that girls don't fart ....a mythbusting video.

Our Brother Dave --- from dannyo

Hi All:

I just wanted to share my experience of watching our brother (son) Dave get an award last Friday night in Boulder. I can't imagine a better thing for a parent (like you Doug , Deb or even Esther) to witness than to see their son honored like Dave was. The leader of the foundation spent at least 10 minutes telling about what an amazing person Dave is and how he has helped their charity - and it was easy to see how much Dave is liked in the Boulder community. When it came time for Dave to approach the podium there was a standing ovation that seemed to last as long. Everyone was on their feet clapping for what seemed like five (5) minutes or more. It was great to see Elizabeth, Harry, and Matt watch this amazing reception their Dad got and to see first hand the widespread respect he has in this community.

I wish everyone could have been there. I was certainly proud of Dave!

Dan

PS. Please can someone pass this on to Mike and Mark. Thanks, Dan

(enclosed is the write-up on Dave in the evening's program)

Patagonia

I'm going to patagonia next february with friends....I'm so excited.....

LA Joe -- what is that thing in the first picture

it is too confusing to me....a lump of lard? a lump of meat???

it all looks so good at the end....but definitely questionable at the beginning....

Cree,

thanks for getting me on Deb's blog. I wilol have plenty to say about everything.

dougie